Blast You in Miami

Party in the city where the heat is on
All night, on the beach till the break of dawn
Welcome to Miami
Bienvenidos a Miami

How can you not love a city that has served as the muse to the likes of Will Smith, Luther Campbell, Glenn Frey, Vanilla Ice and Jan Hammer? Actually, it’s fairly easy not too. Every time I’ve been to Miami, I’ve been seriously underwhelmed. I wish I could say that it’s the sickly sweet stench of gaudy excess and overabundance of tacky art deco architecture that turns my stomach. In full disclosure, I have to admit that it’s the lack of honest-to-goodness bars that fuels my displeasure for South Beach.

On my last trip there, we wandered around for well over an hour looking for a place to just sit down and drink the balmy night away. Every place we walked into had the maddening “UNH-chuh UNH-chuh” of House Music pumping away. Techno music? Check. A majority of the dudes wearing tight shirts and shades? Check. Douchebag Central? Double-check. We ended up spending the night drinking curbside at the South Beach TGI Friday’s, haranguing clubgoers passing by. The $134 tab consisting of nothing but cheap tequila, Michelob and one order of Friday’s Fantastik Potstickers seemed like a bargain.

As far as the game goes, Fran gets his first chance this season to keep his job on Thursday night. A win against Miami of 2007 would by no means be considered a marquee win by even the pumpiest of the sunshine pumpers, but this game is crucial, nonetheless. On offense, the Ags are designed to do one thing: run downhill at you. They should be able to steamroll all but three or four scheduled teams by simply being physically superior to the opposing D. Miami is one of those teams that has enough speed on defense to force us to *gasp* pass to beat them. A&M is going to have to play a complete game on offense to beat the defensively sound Canes.

Since Fran has been living in the B/CS metroplex, he hasn’t fared too well on ESPN Thursday-nighters (0-2 with losses to VaTech and Utah). While I have never considered the Orange Bowl as an especially intimidating venue, the Canes have racked up a ton of wins there. The U hasn’t been particularly dominating at home as of late, though. From 2004 through 2006, the Hurricanes compiled a 13-6 record. Not good enough to keep Coach Cokes rollin’ in his white-on-white Escalade, I suppose.

Huge News – To bring you the inside scoop on Miami goings ons, BPHJ has busted the javelina bank open to fund an embedded correspondent in South Beach. Updates to follow.

That’s all for now. Enjoy Thursday’s game, and stay out of Austin if you value your life at all.



4 comments on “Blast You in Miami

  1. I just hope we do well simply for the fact Calais Campbell and Kenny Phillips (I think that’s his name) are considered first round picks and I don’t want to see us constantly in the highlights during the NFL Draft.

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