Dean Mortimer here, Welcome to Travels by Dean (Updated 9/20 4:18pm)

Howdy and Gig ’em Whoop!!

Dean Mortimer here to report on my trip to see the Fightin’ Texas Aggies take on the miami hurricanes. This should be a Frantastic trip to the land of brazilian bikini-clad South Beach hotties and the gay men they love.

I’m getting packed, readying the Aggie paraphenalia. First, I must grab our OU Gameday sign from last year, this must make a Liberty City appearance. Here is a shot of our plain cardboard, crudely adorned sign from the Gameday broadcast.

And here it is, preserved for 2007 and beyond. The other side reads “CHAOS”.

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As this is South Florida, and what with global warming and such, the all maroon rain gear is making an appearance.

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Also being packed: Aggie Magnets for both sides of the rental car, the aggie band CD, two 12th man towels, 5 Aggie t-shirts, 2 aggie caps, a huge maroon gig’em, overalls with my fish camp motto bedazzled onto the ass, and a bonsai Century Tree I will plant on the beach.

If I could afford to surgically alter my face to appear like Ol Sarge, I’d do it.

The Ags are taking the LesFran (you like?) offense on the road to matchup with the Randy “My Phoenix-like rise from poor beginnings will be told at halftime via an overwrought, overproduced montage” Shannon defense. This will be played in the storied Orange Bowl, fittingly named I think as I expect Fran to literally and figuratively drink the life juice from a crushed cane squad as Ron Popeil would from Ronco Juicerated citrus fruit. I can’t wait to knife my way to the OB and catch this tuneup for the Baylor game.

Will Billy Pickard be making this trip? He’ll probably walk there. This is why all along the interstates leading to our away games, little Billy Pickards are growing up. He’s like Johnny Appleseed.

Wednesday – September 19th 12:18pm

My blood is boiling, I am ready to get on the road. The highlight of most driving road trips is passing the A&M equipment 18-wheeler on the way up or back, although flying will remove that thrill. I am taking the binoculars and hoping for the same experience, but the flight path deviates from I-10.

In my mind’s eye I was envisioning the complete annihilation the Ags are going to lay down on the Canes and trying to come up with a perfect adjective to describe it. This led to a google search and disappointment – apparently it’s been outlawed.

Bad Language Content, but funny

Perhaps annhilate is the best adjective, and it’s legal.

Will Erin Andrews be at Yell Practice? If so, expect pictures of ’em, Ags. 

Wednesday – September 19th 4:45pm

Maroon Duffel at the airport…Dean hits the road.

Thursday – September 20th 08:30am 

Booze, condoms, and TOBLERONE in the hotel. Does life get any better? Chick in a bikini strolling the strip @ 8:30am. Didn’t get the price to say hello to my little friend.

Thursday – September 20th 04:18pm

El Thrill is sporting a blue shirt at Hooters…Say it is true!
Some pics from the OB.

DM

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4 comments on “Dean Mortimer here, Welcome to Travels by Dean (Updated 9/20 4:18pm)

  1. awesome DM. awesome. awesome.

    But do enlighten me on your signage methodology b/n “Pain” and “Chaos”? When Corso speaks, is it “Pain”? When they talk about J-train’s weight do you show “Chaos”? Please discuss your system!

    Omg. Actually, just appease me and tell me you just spin the sign on a loose swivel and wreak pain or chaos as whatever the wind blows in.

  2. DM,

    Please bash a miami fan with the shutt helmet, and take a picture with it on in heisman pose. I think you, kp and HA should take one for the collective AY team and bang the 3 fat chicks 1968 posted.

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