If you haven’t seen it by now, you’re either living under a rock or you’re less internet savvy than R.C. By “it,” I mean Brent Zwerneman’s piece about Dennis Franchione’s for your eyes only, Super Secret Friends Club e-mail list.
Any remaining questions about Fran and Mike McKenzie’s sheer stupidity have been conclusively answered. I let our good friends at EDSBS field this one:
The explicit editorial stance from here on out at EDSBS is that Dennis Franchione is a fucking idiot. A total goddamn piss-shitting paste-eating fucking idiot. We wouldn’t trust him with sinking a leaky barge full of bricks with the U.S.S. New Jersey. We wouldn’t trust him to feed our pet alligator Lawrence if we had freezer full of dead chickens and a shovel at the ready. We’d send him an email telling him all this, but we’d have to get in line, and he’s too busy emailing those friendly Liberians back with his bank account numbers. “I’m going to roll in my African riches! EXCELSIOR!!!”
Proven: Dennis Franchione is a fucking idiot. Q.E.D, motherfucker.
Aside from being nationally recognized as a mouth-breather, Dennis now has much larger problems. Best case scenario for Frannycakes: he’s branded (again) as a money-grabbing liar. Worst case scenario for Franchione: he’s shitcanned for cause, thus losing out on millions coming his way.
Paragraph 10 of Franchione’s contract (from Hell) provides that “shall report annually in writing to the President of the UNIVERSITY through the Athletics Director, on or before October 31 of each year, all athletically-related income from sources outside the UNIVERSITY…” According to Fran-Slayer’s article, Byrne was unaware of the existence of the newsletter until confronted by Zwerneman. It would stand to reason that if Byrne was unaware of the newsletter, the income from said newsletter was likely unreported. Time will obviously tell on that front.
If Franchione didn’t report that income, oooohhhh mama. He can be shitcanned for any willful breach of “any covenant, term, or condition imposed under the terms” of the contract. (Section 5.1). If terminated for cause, A&M “shall not thereafter be liable for the payment of any salary, benefits or Corporate Payment following the end of the month of such termination.” (Section 5.2).
Additionally, Franchione may be fired for:
– engaging in criminal behavior (Section 2.3(a)) – Did he report the income to the IRS? 12 subs X 3 years X $1,200 = $43,200. Yet another Italian-American felled vis-a-vis tax evasion?
– knowingly violating Big XII, NCAA or A&M rules and regulations (Section 2.3(d)) – Did he discuss recruiting, in violation of NCAA regs? There’s also the problem of potential valuable gambling info in there. I’m not worried because “most of the people are tremendously loyal Aggies.” Jesus, he’s dumb. Also, possible HIPAA violations are surely against some of the aforementioned rules and regs (e.g. “Any Texas A&M employee will not violate local, state or federal law”).
– engaging in any business transaction that may cause discredit to A&M (Section 2.3(c)) – A little looser here. Hell, everything he does is a violation of this clause. Regardless, this situation he’s put us in could fall under this provision.
This latest Frangedy won’t get him fired. His shitty record will take care of that. Fran and Mike McKenzie may have cluster-fucked themselves into giving us a little spending money for our new coach. Start sending lil’ maroon prayers heavenward, boys, and Byrne may get a chance to bust out his much-ballyhooed Ari Gold impression