Fun Things to Do if You Are a Baylor Student

For the Boys

1.  Dance – You need to be sure that no one sees you.  You need to close the blinds and lock the door and you can dance with your roommate.  You can even pretend your roommate is a girl, but that may not be necessary.

2.  Trade Polo Shirts with your friends – This can make your wardrobe expand overnight.  If you have ten polo shirts and regularly trade shirts with a couple of other Baylor dudes, people will think you have twenty or more Polo shirts.

3.  Frozen Yogurt – If you are on the move with that hot blonde in your theology class, just ask her to go out for some frozen yogurt.   Avoid chocolate, since a chocalate stain on a Polo shirt is difficult to get out.

4.  Vacuum – Godliness is related to cleanliness somehow.  Between maid visits, vacuum and clean your dorm or apartment regularly.  You never know when you’ll have unexpected visitors.

5.  Go home and visit your parents – There’s no better weekend for a Baylor guy than going home and spending time with the family and old friends that went to college somewhere else.  This is a great time to see a PG or G rated movie.

For the Girls

1.  Dance – You need to be sure that no one sees you.  You need to close the blinds and lock the door and you can dance with your roommate.  You can even pretend your girlfriend is a boy, but that may not be necessary.

2.  Footloose – Watch the movie Footloose and dream about fighting authority.  Of course, you’d never do anything as radical as dance in public, but movies like Footloose champion the underdogs.  You can also play the Kevin Bacon degrees of separation game.

3.  Scarf and Barf – Especially around Baylor boys, show them that you have a healthy appetite and can eat a ton of food.  Be sure to throw it all up within thirty minutes of finishing your meal.  You want to remain thin just in case you have a chance to get married.

4.  Shop for nightgowns – Nightgowns make the Baylor girl look so mature.  Be sure to have several white full length nightgowns on hand in case you get unexpected company early in the morning.  Wearing these nightgowns makes you look mature and sophistacated while maintaining a level of class expected of a Baptist woman.

5.  Fuck Texas A&M Guys – It’s only about an hour and a half drive to College Station.  You and your friends can drop the charade of your Waco life and let your hair down and throw that nightgown in the gutter.  Get boozed up and ridden and scream with desire as your dreams come true.  On the ride back to Waco, lie to your friends about what you did, because they will doing the same to you.  Look your friends in the eye, though, and you’ll see that they all just had the best night of their lives.

Deathburger

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3 comments on “Fun Things to Do if You Are a Baylor Student

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