The Power of Petulence

There isn’t a sane Aggie on the planet who knows the first thing about college football that isn’t upset that we weren’t able to join the best conference in the sport.  In no uncertain terms, the CLASS of college football is the SEC.  For all the Penn States or Ohio States or Oklahomas in the world, you can’t get close to the environment of an SEC game. The gameday environment is what makes college football.  To the best, most tradition-rich conference, you were about to add the most interesting college football game environment of all, a stadium where 30k people stand the entire game and chant in unison.  Saying that Aggies are upset at not being able to join the SEC is akin to saying that George W. Bush wasn’t a great public speaker.  But after all the asskissers around the nation media get finished slobbing the knob of Texas and how they were able to “save” the Big XII, the fact remains that:

A&M ain’t Pac16.  And guess what, sips:  t.u. ain’t Pac16, either.  Guess who you get to blame for that?

Now, don’t get me wrong.  I am just as disappointed as any other sane Aggie for not being able to join the SEC.  I had lunch with a supersip today who just couldn’t understand why A&M would be interested in the SEC, but even he recognizes that it would be incredibly ballsy to split from Texas.  And we were [pointing to my balls] this close to pulling it off.

This thing was an incredible game of political cat and mouse.  Texas, who should get the sole blame for all of this crap happening in the first place, assumed that they were big and bad enough to dictate to everyone what they were going to do.  OU went along with it, and OSU fell in line.  Tech has no other options so they were good, too.  Only A&M had the power and balls to stand up and say, “Hell, no, we don’t belong in the Pac16.”

A&M doesn’t belong there.  Can you imagine what would happen when the Corps of Cadets steps off the bus for March In in Palo Alto or Berkley?

At some point over the last 72 hours, OU, OSU, Tech, and Texas announced board of regents meetings.  You don’t do that if you plan on staying in your current conference because you don’t have to vote to stay put, so don’t let these jerkoff rejects in newspapers and blogs try to convince you that Texas’ plan the entire time was to preserve the “tradition-rich” 15 year old Big XII.

Of all the analogies out there, the one I like the best is the group of friends at the mall who are running with the rich popular kid.  Rich popular kid says, “I’m going to go eat at Sbarro” and all the other ass kissers immediately start walking that way.  Only one kid decides he wants Bourbon Street Cajun Cafe.  “I’m going over here to eat.”

You can’t do that.  Popular rich kid said he wants Sbarro!  “That’s fine, but I don’t like that pizza.  I’ll meet you guys in the middle.”

No way, dude.   If you don’t eat at Sbarro, you can’t sit with us.  “Oh, ok.  That sucks, but I have some other friends over here by Bourbon Street.  See you guys at school.”

Look, if you don’t eat with us, then everyone will say that we aren’t as rich and popular as we want to believe we think we are.  “Yeah, I’m not worried about that.  Sbarro sucks and this is better food over here.”

Ok, tell you what…let’s all just eat at Subway.  It sucks, but I’ll make that smelly kid buy your lunch for you, but you have you sit with us and you have to tell everyone that you bought it on your own and you can’t let anyone know how I let you not let me eat at Sbarro.  Now, eat your sandwich or I’ll tell my dad.  “Ok, fine.”

There’s going to be a lot of talk in the coming days about how A&M had to go along with what Texas said because they are powerless.  Don’t you believe it for a second.  Texas WANTED to go to the Pac, but they couldn’t without A&M.  They’ll tell you that their first choice was to stay in the Big XII, but don’t believe that horseshit either.   A&M might not have gotten what they wanted out of this deal, but neither did Texas.  Because A&M dug in their heels, we cost Texas their shot at being the big dogs for the first Super Conference.

It sucks for us, but then again it sucks for them, too.  Could be worse, I guess…we could be Colorado who can’t afford to buyout their coach much less their conference.

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