An Open Apology to College Football

Dear College Football:

We discussed it here at HSJ, and something happened in Aggieland this past weekend that we aren’t proud of.  We pride ourselves in class and honor above all things.  The Aggie Motto states that “Aggies do not lie, cheat, or steal, nor do we tolerate those who do.”  After a long discussion and a unanimous vote, we decided to add “embarrass ourselves” after “cheat” because we need to keep in mind that holding yourself in the highest possible light is paramount to all other things.  But something happened down on Kyle Field that we just aren’t used to seeing.  It’s embarrassing and scary that college football has certain individuals who would behave that way, and we were all so shocked to see the replays of it occur in college football’s most sacred location in the history of the sport.

College football gets  a bad reputation from seedy characters and shady dealings.  We forget that this entire industry revolves around unpaid, non-professional athletes who earn an education for themselves but earn millions for others (see:  “Byrne, William”).  These young men work their asses off, and we need to keep that in mind when we start behaving poorly in front of them.  We should be role models for good behavior, not tolerating the bad or even rewarding it.

Therefore, college football fans, please accept our humble and sincere apologies for Bo Pelini acting like such a fucking asshole on Saturday night in College Station, Texas.  As Aggies, we shouldn’t allow this dickhole to behave this way in our hallowed stadium, and I hope next time some jerkoff comes into our stadium with his retarded brother and starts waving their tiny penises around like perverted miscreants, we’ll all have the decency to band together and kick the ever-living shit out of them before they can embarrass our beloved university.  We aren’t used to having such behavior within our walls, which normally are filled with the highest class and honor.  I hope you can all accept this apology and know that Pelini and his piece of shit brother are not welcome in our doors anytime soon.  Shameful.

Good luck in the Big 10, assholes.  Hope you continue to fail miserably, but without the ability to blame it on the “Big XII Exit Conspiracy”.


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